"I don't understand. Why do you want me to say my name?"
Fangirl. Grad student.
Guess which one this blog's about?
Reblogged from bearlyanybears :
Reblogged from drownedintea :
Reblogged from markdoesstuff :
Reblogged from noangelsinthegarrison :
Reblogged from apocalypse-patisserie :
Spent 20 minutes on the phone tonight with my former roommate who now lives in another state yet needed to coach me through killing the biggest motherfucking spider I’ve seen outside of the South. I mean this thing was the size of a nectarine or clementine or some shit like that, so big that I sprayed half a bottle of windex on that fucking thing without killing it I shit you not. I mean my entire dining room floor is now a lake of windex and those curtains it was clinging to could kill an army from fumes, but that spider just sat there STARING AT ME. Until my roommate had the brilliant idea for me to try to kill it by throwing tennis balls at it, which I proceeded to do while she laughed herself into oblivion listening to that damn tennis ball bounce all over the fucking kitchen and into the light fixture and everywhere but ON THAT GODDAMN SPIDER. I was ready to pack up and move my dog to Idaho after burning the apartment to the ground to kill this thing. Until finally my aim was true and the tennis ball (now sopping wet thanks to the half bottle of Windex soaked into the curtains) knocked that motherfucker to the floor, where it floundered a bit in the lake of windex, creating a fucking wake with its giant freaking spider legs, and i jumped on it with both feet clad in hiking boots and just did my best ice skating routine until I was pretty sure it had to be dead. I freaked out when I couldn’t see its body, but then I noticed its detached legs floating around in Lake Windex, thank fucking christ.
All the time I could hear my roommate howling with laughter on the phone while I did my very best Shrieking Eel impersonation for long enough that I was worried afterwards that my neighbors might have called the police to report a murder.
Lessons on how to be a stellar, fearless, independent female adult.
Reblogged from grace-of-fallen-angel :
Reblogged from majorenglishesquire :
Theme by Lauren Ashpole